Men Are the Better Sex

Let's look at a few rather important topics to prove this:

NICKNAMES - If Laura, Amie, Debra and Alexia go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Amie, Debra and Alexia. - If Mike, Andy, Bob and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Pecker and Schmucko.

EATING OUT - When the bill arrives, Mike, Andy, Bob and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want some change back. The girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY - A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.

BATHROOMS - A man has 6 items in his bathroom: toothpaste, toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn.; The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 237.No man will be able to identify most of these items.

ARGUMENTS - A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

CATS - Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

THE FUTURE - A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

MARRIAGE - A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting she won't change and she does.

DRESSING UP - A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL - Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING - Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY - Every married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing, is there?

LISTENING - What a woman says: "C'mon...This place is a mess. You and I need to clean. Your pants are on the floor and you'll have no clothes if we don't do laundry now." What a man hears: C'MON ... blah, blah, blah YOU AND I blah, blah, blah blah, blah ON THE FLOOR blah, blah, blah, NO CLOTHES blah, blah, blah, blah, NOW.