Women are impossible to please…

My French teacher back home once told me that throughout my life women would confuse me. I never understood what my teacher was telling me until today.

In a relationship, men need someone who will be their friend, companion, and lover, but on the other hand, women have no clue of what they want from a relationship. Women are difficult to please, and I must add, they are IMPOSSIBLE.

"I like you. I love you. I want to marry you." - Women use these testimonies everyday to set up a clueless ending to a relationship. If I were to tell you all the reasons why women are impossible, I would be writing forever. I plan not to do that. I'll start by saying almost 10 years ago; a friend of mine was having problems in his relationship. His girlfriend ended their relationship for no apparent reason.

The only answer she could give my friend was that she felt things between them weren't the same. She concludes by saying it's not that serious. If you ask me, she has no clue what she wants. In relationships, it's just like a woman to leave a man clueless. The man is expected to know what she is thinking at all times.

Just when men think they have an idea of what their woman wants and presents them with more love than they can handle, whether the love he gives her is a special kiss or gift, she'll turn it down of course and begin to cry. When things are not going the way women expect them to, they began to cry. They'll dump you, and then begin to cry again like it's the man's fault.

Don't get me wrong, men have their faults, but that is the affect of women. Women are the number one reason many men "play" them. Because of women, men now find it necessary to have several women instead of one in their road of becoming a real man and marry one of them. If one is being difficult to handle, then there are others to "play" with.

Women criticize men for doing this, but if only they knew it is their doing that causes a man to break down, become single, and mess around. Men are tired of trying to satisfy women who are in need of "more" in a relationship, so they seek those women who do not mind a little less love from men. The answer is simple. Women are being used because they are difficult to handle.

Time ago I was in a relationship where everything was nearly perfect. I have spoiled this girl, and she made me look like a fool. Her actions were what made me think back to what my French teacher told me. She commented on how confusing women would be, but she mentions nothing of how impossible women were. My French teacher was a woman too. So, think abut it. I'm figuring she didn't want to mention it because she was one as well.

The type of women that bother me the most is the type in marriage relationships. The man is in charge of the household meaning pressure and stress is already pounding on his back, but here comes the woman not to lend a hand, but to pound on his back as well. "Where are you going? Where have you been all day? Why didn't get me this like I ask? It only cost nine hundred and fifty dollars." The questions are continuous.

There are comments that follow these questions such as, "Honey, guess what. Our two month anniversary is next month." To men this is funny to hear because Valentine's Day and his birthday are a month later, but she says this anyway. But as a male I do not see a problem.

As long as SHE's happy, everything is okay.

After reading this blog so far, most women may ask me to ask their men whether they are difficult to please. To tell the truth, no man in their right mind would say their woman is impossible. These men would be too scared of what their woman would say, too scared to hear more complaining from their woman. Deep inside, they're anxious to tell someone like me the truth; the fact that their woman is difficult to handle.

Men need to find a way to end...

Impossible is the best word that describes women. The only reason for this is that God planned it that way to test men’s patience. I know I may have over told the truth a little in this blog, but it SIMPLY describes the fact of how unpleasing woman are. I consider this subject very broad because I have yet to discuss with whoever have a question or opinion about this blog.

Feel free to comment this.

Would they curse me...?

As I sit here and stare at the Mac
I wonder who sits at my back.
If they knew what I write
would they curse me and bite
or start up some verbal attack?

Well, as I walk through the door to get outside of my office, of course to smoke out my boring day, I squeeze my eyes shut against the reflected sunlight, I thought about how I would approach this project. How to say what I need to say, without saying it in a way that has been said a thousand times, in a million-million words.

The voices in my head struggle to escape from the Microsoft word page I have opened, but there's this thing in between my thoughts and my eyes...my mind. Language that I would never actually use in speaking to someone seems to just flow, driven by some primal "college survival" instinct, from my fingertips when I sit down at the word-page with an assignment in hand. This has become a real dilemma, as I now struggle for true expression and attempt to beat back the demons of 10 years worth of practice at the 'official style' of writing. LoL

I feel that I have become quite well adapted to writing the language of unbearable thoughts through out my mind. Here I come and here I go again leavening you as well with the same dilemma I have inside my mind ...

There is a stranger in my head.

Do I have Free Will?

Do I have Free Will?

After considering the evidence for the three views I have accomplished that soft determinism is best supported. I will be arguing for soft determinism with evidence presented in here

I will start out with the evidence of unconscious motivation. It is the unconscious that forces us to act out things we think are justifiable but can actually be hurtful. With the three factors of our unconscious state, the ID, super-ego and the unconscious ego, we tend to be in a tug-of-war with our mind over who has control.

With the mind being in the unconscious state we tend to make compromises in our actions. With the unconscious working, we have the freedom of free will. Once the ID is in action it puts its demands in the table and wants satisfaction while the super-ego denies the wish. We need our unconscious to mediate between the two forces otherwise our mind would be in a constant battle.

Another argument for the point would be of moral responsibility. Most of the time we have none. We are conditioned from birth with qualities of our personality, social standing and attitudes. Most people are so set on their ways that unconsciously they block out rational thought and act on what they have been programmed to do. In the unconscious state we are just bystanders to our phobia which is always in control and has already been unconsciously determined.

If most of our acts are compelled then we have no means of true freedom. Now let me tell you about free acts versus unfree acts. First, we should have a definition of both: - "free acts are caused at that moment by internal states whereas unfree acts occur due to outside forces".

A true Libertarian believes that there is no cause for anything, that everything happens as the self decides while a Determinist believes everything happens due to some outside force. The soft determinist has the right idea, that all acts are necessitated by previous causes. There are some free acts and there are some unfree acts.

We need both of these forces to guide us through life. If we go through life without worrying about a single thing then I believe that this life has been wasted, that we have just been going through some routine only to get by and then move on to something better which has been determined for us somehow. We need free acts thrown into the mix so we have some reason for living.

Right now I am acting out of free will in a way, I am writing this blog. You might say it is an unfree act because it is an assignment but I can choose not to do it. My free act is that I want to learn more by exploring this subject so I can apply myself to better things. In soft determinism we also need some unfree acts.

The moral freedom is an inner act is hard to comprehend. It is said that the act must be one of which the person judged can be regarded as the sole author. He can be held morally responsible for these acts because they have occurred from external to the self. If the self is a separate enema from the mind then all the other little pieces floating around it cannot influence it.

While there has to be determined acts out there, there still needs to be some immediate cause on the psychological state of the agent. With the external compulsions acting on the agent there seems to be some interaction with the self, which shapes the way we think. If we have the thought of free acts then there is something left to be compelled to work for...

The free will.

No Pain No Gain

Sorry guys, its time for the bitter medicine of truth: "we're jerks". We mess up, wig out, and make mistakes, say, "Don't worry, it'll never break," and then fix what just broke. We boast, show off, and try to impress girls only to wonder why they can't see how great we are.

Well, they can't see how great we are because they so often see how much of a jerk we can be. And here's a kicker, when we try not to be a jerk that is when we are most like one. We can't win; we're cursed...but maybe not.

What you probably didn't know about jerkiness is that it is a factor many women find essential in a man when they are getting serious in the date-life scene, want to marry, and produce offspring. Now I don't mean to say that a woman says to herself, "Okay, I want to get married. Where's a jerk?" Not at all. Jerkiness is appealing to women; they just don't know that it is. They often mistake jerkiness for other traits like wit, charm, and humor -- that is, with a little coaching from us guys.

This is how it works. First, girls know that guys still play with balls, can't cook, want big toys, and barely dress well (these are excellent jerk qualities, incidentally). They suspect this is due to some mental and emotional immaturities genetically imbedded in the male species (are not, are not, are not). But to a guy, proper jerkiness is a matter of style, cunning, and general clumsiness that naturally takes advantage of the woman's deficiencies (like picking a good man, for example).

Second, think of this:

Why does a man want to marry in the first place? I mean, what guy in his right mind would want to stop dating and give up all those lovely ladies just so he can be with one...for the rest of his entire life? She's going to grow old, get lots of wrinkles, and sag everywhere. Now, is that appealing? Heck no.

Marriage means no more spontaneous nights out with the guys. It means buying a house so you can scrimp and save to pay for it, just so your kids can tear it up and then leave. It means driving a station wagon instead of a Vet and buying diapers instead of C.D.'s. What kind of a guy would want a situation like that? A confused love struck jerk, that's what kind! You see, love blinds us.

Its nature's way of tricking men in the groin and forcing them to produce millions of infant humans...so it'll have more people to trick. I mean, it isn't reason that urges us into the bonds of perpetual, endless wedlock. Maybe there is an I-want-to-get-married gene in us activated by love. But the more I think about it, the more I think it is due to...

Girl logic

"Girl logic" is the label given to describe that series of semi-consecutive feminine thoughts that favored "cute things," "soft things," and cuddly little kittens and puppies. It causes girls to act in such strange displays of behavior that the average man is stupefied in useless attempts to comprehend. The smart man quickly abandons such ventures as he soon realizes severe head pain and vertigo follow.

Each and every man has encountered this highly illusive mental game of matching wits with a woman, most often to his confusion and demise. The average male thinks too clearly, too linearly, and, therefore, can't figure women out at all. The strange marvel is that girl logic makes sense to all women.

There is, most probably, a genetic something that unites all females this way. I have seen groups of them act in behaviorist unison -- as if driven by some common cosmic feminine force -- when they encounter a jewelry department, a sale on clothes, or choosing the color of their shoes. This is all fine and dandy as long as men are excluded. But we aren't!

Every man knows the unmerited agony of being dragged into a clothes store only to have his aesthetic senses crushed into ridiculed oblivion when he says that blue blouse goes well with that green sweater. I've seen girls almost lose their lunch and stare in pathetic disbelief at some poor shlup who got cornered in the women's department and made the inexcusable blunder of commenting on how yellow and pink polka dots go together.

But a multitude of nodding male heads agreeing about the unnecessary suffering imposed upon them in ladies department stores, malls, and markets still does not negate our need to understand some of the less sophisticated nuances of girl logic. Some of these nuances are why they like flowers and cards instead of a socket-set and pliers, why they like expensive dinners instead of pizza and coke, and why their logic finally fails them when it comes to picking a date or possible marriage partner who is obnoxious and somehow interesting.

As you know, we have the opportunity of observing their behavior, and though we cannot relate, we can attempt to anticipate their actions in the hopes of using it to our advantage. All we need to do is understand the paradoxical.

But you might ask, "How can you write about that which you can't understand?" The very fact that you are asking this proves you are using "guy logic." If you were thinking (or trying to think) in girl logic, the question would never have arisen. And since this is a blog on girl logic, I won't answer it because I simply don't feel like it -- so there.

But, it is possible (upon rare moments of dynamic insight) to be able to catch a glimpse of how girl logic operates in the realm of the real world. And, although we may not be able to understand the complexities of this intricate, convoluted system, we can, with great clarity, observe its operations and effects in life.

Of course, were you a woman, this activity would be completely superfluous. But, of course, we are men, and in our attempt to persuade and win women, we need to know this system, or at the very least (which is, for men, the highest level of attainment) understand how to use it.

Lesson 1 in Girl Logic: Girls think with their hearts and not their heads.

Have you ever seen a girl around a pet store? She goes straight to the puppies and kittens. She holds them, pets them, wants them, and loves them all within 30 seconds. Now a guy would look at the underdeveloped animal species and think something like, "Hmmm. That is an infant form of white cat." Or maybe he would think, "All right, that is a brown salivating puppy. It is young, urinating, maybe six weeks old. I wonder if it could fetch."

Guys think practically; girls think emotionally. Guys say "Hmmm, I see an infant animal form." Girls say, "Oh look at him. Isn't he cute. Don't you just want to cuddle him all up. Hi, puppy, wuppy. I wuv you."

Now such diametrically opposed displays of reacting to puppyness and kittenness can be used to your advantage. When you are in a pet store with your date, or girl friend, and she heads straight to the infant-animal-forms-area, you have the opportunity to act in a non-logical, girl-logic manner. What you could do is pick up a random infant cat, if that is possible, or point to it behind the glass and say, "That kitten is cute." The girl you are with will think that you have a deep and compassionate heart, that you are a well rounded kind of guy, and that you would be great around children. Don't ask me how children got into the picture, but girls think about them a lot, especially around cute infant animal forms. When you say something positive about baby animals, girls like it. It is the way they are made. They can't help it.

Next after spying another animal form of potential infant cuteness, maybe a puppy, or rabbit, or hamster, say the same sentence again, only this time substitute the different animal type in the subject part of your previously offered sentence. Say, "That rabbit is cute." Or, "That puppy is cute." You don't have to get mushy and you don't have to ramble on about animal cuteness. Just pick out two animal forms, apply an "It is cute" sentence to it and the girl you are with will be impressed to no end. It works every time.

There is a warning here, though. Do not apply this to rodents, reptiles, or insects. Don't say, "That baby Bolivian slug rat" is cute. The girl you are with will simply stare at you in nauseated disgust and decide right there to never go out with you again. Why? because she's thinking about what your children will look like.

Lesson 2 in Girl Logic: Girls draw conclusions to a set of circumstances or events in such a manner as to completely bewilder men.

For example, you're at your girl's house or apartment. She has just gotten ready. She looks good. You both are going to the zoo. You say, "You better wear some of your not-so-good clothes because we're going to be doing a lot of walking." Of course, your girlfriend or date hears these words all right, but something bizarre happens in her hearing-processing unit. There is a little vocabulary filtering device imbedded in this unit called...

>> The Bewilder Filter <<

This is how it works. When you say a perfectly harmless sentence that contains even the slightest implication of her possessing clothes somewhat below the level of Vogue, what she hears is, "You have ugly clothes. Wear them out in public. All the walking can wear you out because you are only a girl." Now, you don't mean anything like that at all. But, as sure as frogs poop in a swamp, because of this Bewilder Filter, you are now in deep trouble.

She puts her hands on her hips and snaps at you,

"You don't like what I am wearing?" You instantly realize that the Bewilder Filter has kicked in. You think frantically for a clever sentence that will get you out of this predicament. "No, I mean yes. It's fine. Whatever you want to wear is fine. You look good."

She examines you slightly. Her bewilder filter is now working in over-drive. "Are you saying you don't like what I wear? Because if you don't then you don't have to be seen with me in public. I can always find someone who will appreciate me for what I am."

Now, what exactly happened?! I mean, what were you doing?! Nothing! Heck, you were just trying to think about her comfort and look at the consequences. Now she thinks you are an insensitive rogue, and she's threatening the old dumpster routine with you being the garbage. Of course, your facial expression looks like you've been trying to figure out quantum physics and ancient Hieroglyphics all at the same time. She then picks up on your obvious state of confusion, hurt, and dismay and quickly turns the whole charade around. "Oh," she says compassionately, "were you just trying to think about my welfare?"

You cautiously mutter a confused and careful, " . . . Yes."

You're so sweet," she says to her night in shining armor, "I do have another pair of sneakers I could wear. Perhaps you are right. I'll go put them on."

Again you are left drifting in a universe of confusion wondering what the heck happened. Were you sensitive or insensitive? Were you right or wrong? There is no way to be sure. (Sometimes I think that girls do this on purpose just to keep us confused. The only problem is I can't quite figure out if its working or not.)

The obvious conclusion is simple. When Girl Logic combines with the Bewilder Filter, watch out. You don't know what the outcome will be. So the only course of action is to be a gentleman and pray for the best. The Bewilder Filter could work to your advantage or disadvantage. Who knows? So, get ready for a ride.

Men Are the Better Sex

Let's look at a few rather important topics to prove this:

NICKNAMES - If Laura, Amie, Debra and Alexia go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Amie, Debra and Alexia. - If Mike, Andy, Bob and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Pecker and Schmucko.

EATING OUT - When the bill arrives, Mike, Andy, Bob and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want some change back. The girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY - A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.

BATHROOMS - A man has 6 items in his bathroom: toothpaste, toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn.; The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 237.No man will be able to identify most of these items.

ARGUMENTS - A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

CATS - Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

THE FUTURE - A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

MARRIAGE - A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting she won't change and she does.

DRESSING UP - A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL - Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING - Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY - Every married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing, is there?

LISTENING - What a woman says: "C'mon...This place is a mess. You and I need to clean. Your pants are on the floor and you'll have no clothes if we don't do laundry now." What a man hears: C'MON ... blah, blah, blah YOU AND I blah, blah, blah blah, blah ON THE FLOOR blah, blah, blah, NO CLOTHES blah, blah, blah, blah, NOW.

Oops, You Did It Again...

So you are licking your wounds. Your relationship came to a bad end. Your fairy prince turned into a swine. The romance that started magically in your dream castle ended up in a gritty sty. As for your swain, well, he ended up smelling of a number of things; but roses were not one of them.

Naturally, your confidence has been dented. Somewhere along the line your judgment was a bit skewed on that one. But you are not going to let it put you off men for life. Besides, you are the kind of woman who needs to have a man in your life.

It is all about learning from the experience, you reflect. So you take a long, hurt look at the relationship and you decide how you want the next man to be different. Maybe you will try looking for someone who is the opposite of your previous partner, or maybe you are looking for someone to sweep you off your feet and make it all all right. Either way, things look pretty promising at the start, and then you start getting a whiff of the sty all over again.

The single most powerful thing you can do to protect yourself from further heartache and confidence-bashing failure is to acquire self-awareness. You need to start becoming aware of the patterns that you keep repeating in relationships the patterns that keep attracting the wrong men.

You may enjoy playing the little woman, but resent being dismissed as a fluffy airhead. You may want your partner to be the masterful type, yet resent feeling controlled. The strengths you are looking for in a man may be an attempt to compensate for your own shortcomings. You may want a man to propel you out of your dull, routine existence into a more exciting world.

One big problem women have with relationships is that they work on their assumptions. Now, there is a huge gap that separates intuition from assumptions. Intuition is that instantaneous, inexplicable nugget of information that lands in your lap. You can choose to act on it; or ignore it, at your peril. Assumptions are the expectations that you hold of your partner, irrespective of the evidence.

Assumptions are also curiously hardy creatures. They can be proved wrong time and time again. Yet, instead of questioning the assumption, the temptation is blame the person who has disappointed your expectation. You say: He should have known: He should have done I should not have to spell it out.

It would all work perfectly if your partner had a degree in mind reading. Unfortunately, he does not. Neither do you, although you may sometimes act as if you did have. The next most accurate way to have a clear idea about what is going on is to ask questions, and keep asking. Some of the questions you might ask yourself include:

- What characteristics (not physical features) do I find attractive in him?
- Are these the same characteristics I responded to in previous partners, at the start?
- Does this person take charge of the relationships?
- Are there niggles that I feel, but do not actually discuss with him?
- Does he have a past history of people not appreciating him? Do you?
- Does he overstep boundaries by foisting opinions on you?
- Does your body go into stress mode around him, ever?
- Do you feel that things are starting to move outside your control?
- Is he moving events on faster than you might wish?
- Can you incorporate this person comfortably into your existing lifestyle, or do you have to drop people to accommodate him?

Most of women seem to treat relationships like a hot tub at the end of a hard day's work - something that looks good when they are feeling tired and grubby. So they dive straight in. They do not test the water temperature too carefully. They do not check for broken glass, baby alligators or other unforeseen hazards; because they assume they will not be there.

Generally, they exercise some thought and care when they purchase a household pet. Do you honestly take as much trouble to acquaint yourself with the needs and requirements of a prospective partner? Or do you simply plunge headfirst into the relationship? Is that another of your unhelpful patterns?

Acknowledging it is the first step on the road to kicking it.

The forced, awkward intimate situation that people like to call it DATING

I apologize to you if I don’t seem real eager to jump into forced, awkward intimate situation that people like to call it DATING.

I don’t like the feeling. You are sitting there, you’re wondering:

-Do I have food on my face?
-Am I talking too much?
-Are they talking enough?
-Am I interested? Im not really interested.
-Should I be play like I’m interested? but I’m not that interested, but I think she might be interested, but do I want to be interested, but now she’s not interested. So now all of a sudden I’m.., I’m starting to get interested.
-And when am I supposed to kiss her?
-Do I have to wait for the door? Cause then its awkward, its like well good night than
-Do you do like the ass-out kind of hug? Where you are like.., you hug each other like you have to, and the ass sticks out because you’re trying not to get too close. Or do you go right in and just kiss ‘em on the lip or don’t kiss ‘em at all?

Its very difficult trying to read the situation and all the while you’re just really wondering, are we going to get hopped enough to make some bad decisions?" And perhaps play a little game called Just the tip just for a second, just to see how it feels, or ouch, ouch, you’re on my hair.

Okay..

Hey girls, great attention by the way, proud of you.

The court of friendship: Not a state of mind, ...than what?

Sometimes I write in a personal fashion, and people connect to that, which is fine, but it often creates misunderstandings that, I think, go deeply into how humans evolved, and how that evolution never anticipated a medium where a written word could be read by so many people without a connection coming back.

This leads to a sense of familiarity, which is expected, but it can also give a sense of intimacy, even friendship, which is wrong, because what's going on here is not friendship, although inside us many of the feelings that come from being a regular reader of my blogs are the same ones we feel as we are developing a friendship, in the world evolution designed us for. But this is not that world.

And with this comes a tough lesson, and unfortunately it seems, you only learn this by living, television doesn't teach it, schools don't teach it, and if you're above a certain age, our parents didn't teach it. You have to learn it by living, by thinking of someone as a friend, only to find out they don't think of you as a friend. It can be devastating, I know, I've been there myself. But all the wishing, all the manipulation, all the determination, just serves to push the would-be friend further away. Because friendship is something you choose to do, you don't do it out of a sense of obligation. To force someone to be a friend is to not have a friend.

I learned a lot about friends in my most sadness times. I learned that a friend is someone I trust to be with me when I am at my weakest and most vulnerable. And they are people who, no matter how painful it is to see, are willing to be with me when I am so helpless and weak.

Friendship is not a state of mind, it's an act. It's something you do, it's not about whether you're good or not, it's not a reflection of you; it's a balanced relationship between people. That doesn't mean it's always balanced at every moment. Sometimes you "need a friend" and other times it's the other way. It's a trust that's returned. When I was younger and thought I was in love, a friend said it's not love unless it's returned. Friendship and love are not quite the same thing, although there's a lot of love around friendship. I learned that love isn't even something about two people, it's a state of being for one person. You aren't in love, you are love. You are, whether you acknowledge it or not. The heart that's pumping blood through your body is an act of love, 24 hours a day, whether you're Mother Teresa or Adolf Hitler. (my apologies for the extreme example.)

There's a world of difference between being a friend and being a fan. I've heard people who I've never met say we're friends. And then of course when I do something they don't like, I've betrayed the supposed friendship. They're living in a dream world. It's very puzzling to be the object in the middle of this swirl of emotions, I say object because my job isn't to be truthful, my job is to be who you think I should be. Of course that's not friendship, that's torture.

When a friend changes you can find the bond that's connecting you at a deeper level. The surface stuff isn't a good thing to depend on. Physical bodies change as they grow. So do emotional bodies and intellectual ones. Take a deep breath. People move, life is more like a wild dance than a ceremony. You just can't tell what's coming next."

So if you find yourself trying to intimidate someone into not changing, then my lovely virtual friends, that is not friendship, that is cruelty.

One thing I feel needs to be said is that there are many other relationships that aren't friendship that are still positive. There are many people I admire who aren't friends. I work with lots of people who aren't friends. In fact, I often think it's a bad idea to work with your friends (more on that another time).

The world isn't divided into two parts — friends and enemies. I choose to think of friend as a very strong word, representing a very close relationship. I think this may be in part due to what I do, because I need a good solid line separating the way I present my self before you while reading my blogs and the way I am around my friends, relatives. A friend is a personal relationship. I like and admire many people who I don't consider friends.

A person who is more likely to be a friend-that-was than a friend-for-life, is that person quotes anonymous people who say they were my friend but I betrayed them. That's such a huge turnoff, which usually wakes me up in an instant. A friend would never even consider saying something like that, because it's so objectifying, so impersonal, so unfair, and so un-friendly. In a court of law you're entitled to cross-examine your accusers. Same in the court of friendship.

Writing is a Technology that Restructures Thought

Writing and reading are two essential skills that we need to have in order to succeed in any field of study that we have chosen. Without these two we would not be here, wouldn’t be writing right now and would be considered the lowest class of our society.

To us there are different ways that we excel at. Some of us are creative enough to write short stories or even novels on fiction while others, like me, are better at writing essays or blogs. To accomplish this we have all a person(s) to inspire us, to drive us, to get us over the hump of confidence that we need to succeed. Still to be successful we need to count on ourselves to succeed.

I for one am better at writing essays/blogs on a topic than writing a short story about something fiction. To me that is a problem sometime, I am not creative enough to write stories even about my life, but I do excel at writing to a given purpose such as a topic.

I feel stronger at essays/blog than at any other part of my writing abilities. When I start writing short stories I feel lost, I confuse myself because I think too much in the way I want.

My style is affected by my mood, intended audience, knowledge on the topic, attitude toward the topic; environment and state of consciousness-- give or take. Some may even say that the movement of the moon changes ones ability to bring words together. But that is not the whole story.

Given a group of fifty students, all generally similar, put in the same environment, taught by the same teacher using the same techniques (etc), you will have fifty different styles. In this light, the argument about the essence of style is very much like the nature verses nurture argument. I believe that a certain amount of ones style is just how they are hardwired.

Writing is, at its core, a technology. It allows us to take our thoughts and arrange them spatially in the physical world. Living in a culture where this practice is an every day occurrence, the physical nature of writing fluidly becomes part of our consciousness.

Writing as it exists in this world can be interpreted an infinite amount of ways. Some believe it to be communication, some self expression. Some believe that it is a tool to explain one self, others think it complicates things.

For me, writing is used for remembering things so that you can eventually communicate with yourself and others about what you thought at a previous time. If you can talk without confusing, then you can write without confusing. It is as simple as that.

In order for someone to become a good writer, that entire person has got to do is make sense of their feelings by writing them down in a fashion that is understood by those who one wishes to communicate with.

That is, tell the people what you have got to say and explain it so that they can understand. If you do not, you fail as a writer because no one can understand you or what you are saying. If you want to be a good writer, you must make it so that the public can understand it.

Note: I hope I was good enough to explain who I am when it comes to my writing skills. Thanks for taking the time and reading this.

Confidence and its role.

Confidence is said to play a critical role in a person's mental outlook and ultimate success. In fact we've heard that the most consistent factor that distinguishes highly successful from less successful athletes is confidence. ...

We have long recognized a relationship between confidence and performance. Sometimes it appears that only the greatest people have access to that magical confidence, while all others can only wish for it. ... Everyone can increase their level of confidence and perform better.

Although confidence is difficult to define, it is usually described as thoughts, feelings and actions reflecting self-belief and expectations of success. ... They rarely give their opponent a confidence boost by appearing discouraged or threatened.

It is often asked what comes first, confidence or success? Although it is true that success breeds confidence, it is equally so that confidence increases ones probability for success. ... Confidence also adds security during slumps and helps us sustain effort. ...
Them who lack confidence worry needlessly about mistakes, lose concentration, allow dangerous levels of arousal to intrude, and increase failure by giving up. ...

Although all desires confidence, there is no replacement for competence. ... Confidence just helps make everything go more smoothly, often providing the decisive competitive edge.
Maintaining an optimal level of confidence is important because overconfidence, or a false belief in ones ability, can also lead to reduced effort and performance.
My tips for you to develop and maintain confidence could be:

Increase level of physical and mental fitness, as this will enhance technique and self-image at the same time.
Beat up on others slightly below your level occasionally to keep confidence alive. Some people never learn to win or develop confidence because they are always over matched. ... Confidence is not a luxury reserved for the best. ...

Before it rains...

The clouds rolled in, like an army of dark dense cotton balls ready to release hell on anything in, or beneath their path. They plagued the sun with a disease of darkness, allowing no natural light to grace the earths surface with its warmth.

I sat watching. Just waiting for the first drop, the ice cold, burning little drops that would fall from the sky and kiss my forehead. I was sitting on a swing at the park, that squeaked ever so slightly as the wind pushed by back and forth gently. I watched and listened to the silence.

Everyone was inside hiding. Buried under blankets and quilts praying that everything would be ok. They were weak. I was brave. My vast existence just by staring into it hard enough. Lightning soared through the sky. Binding the dark clouds like the stitching in a blanket; holding them all together as one. It was bright, blue and white mixed into one, with that brilliant glow of electricity.

Power!

The power I would, just once like to experience. The power that is provided by nature, the rain, clouds and the lightning. So natural, yet so strong, and soon I would be able to experience this power. I would be able to absorb the knowledge that the rain carried, swim in the gift of life given to us by the great rain god. I continued to wait..

A trance...

She saw him in the hallways
And they shared a single glance
A look of lies and veiled truths
Formed by a steady trance

She looked so happy outside
She laughed along with her friends
She just stood there smiling
Pretending love never ends

He had a similar look
One of happiness and smiles
Never in a million years
Would they think his life's in piles

But inside she was dying
And his whole life fell apart
She had rendered everything
He had given her his heart

They only fought and argued
Till they couldn't anymore
They chose to end it all now
Precious love they now ignore

They go back to their own lives
After that heartbreaking glance
Hiding all the memories
Going back into a trance.

How can I tell I'm in love?

It is a very common question, "How can I tell I'm in love?", but it is not an easy question to answer. What feels like love to one person may be nothing more than attraction to another. Some people fall in and out of love quickly and often while others are never really in love as much as they are in lust.

This can get confusing in the early ages because romantic love is a relatively new concept for you and you don't know what to expect. You are overwhelmed with all sorts of new feelings and social pressures. They are confusing. What is love? What makes you want a romantic relationship with one person and not another? How does your heart choose a partner? Why does love end? These questions can't be easily answered.

One of the most confusing quasi-love feelings is lust. Lust is a very powerful, very intense feeling of physical attraction toward another person. Lust is mainly sexual in nature - the attraction is superficial based on instant chemistry rather than genuine caring.

Usually we lust after people we do not know well, people we still feel comfortable fantasizing about. It is very common for people to confuse lust for love. But why? What is it about lust and love that make them so easy to mix up? If lust is all about sex, how can a relationship without sex be about lust? People struggle with this because they see lust in the Biblical sense, but lust isn't that sinister.

Lust is about physical attraction and acting ONLY on physical attraction. Love is about much more than that. Yet many People (and to be fair, many adults) confuse an intense attraction for some sort if divine love. For People, since feelings of attraction are still new and since pop-culture sells sex and love as one package, it is very easy to get the two mixed up.

Lust is clearly not love. Love is based on more than just physical attraction. Sure, attraction is a factor, but love goes deeper than that. Love is based on caring, friendship, commitment and trust. When you are in love it is as if you have your best most trusted friend at your side AND you feel physically attracted to them. It is the best of both worlds! Love is a shared feeling between two people who have a vested interest in one another happiness.

Love is not about jealousy. It is not about conflict. It is not about testing. Love is a positive feeling. If it is tainted by mistrust, jealousy, insecurity or spitefulness it is not really love but merely a pale copy. Love is the total surrender of your heart to another person with the security of knowing they will treat it better than you will. Love should feel good. It should not feel bad. Love should make you want to be a better person; it should not lead you to do something self-destructive. Love is not demanding of your spirit but lifts it and makes it glow. Love is a good thing. Anything less is lust, deep friendship or attraction. So the sappiness aside, the question remains, how can you tell you are in love?

There is no easy way to find the truth behind your feelings or the feelings of another person but there are some telltale signs that love is blooming (or growing deeper). If you agree with 7 of the following 9 statements you are probably in love.

1. You know, because you have been told by your significant other, that your deep feelings are returned in kind.
2. The object of your affections makes you feel special and good about yourself.
3. If/when you feel jealous it is always fleeting; you trust your partner not to betray you or hurt your relationship.
4. Nothing makes you feel as serene as when you and your partner are together.
5. When you fight with your partner you usually make up within a few hours and you always agree that nothing is more important than you both being able to express your true feelings (even if they sometimes cause conflict).
6. Your partner never asks you to choose between him/her and your loyalties to your family and friends - if you do choose him/her over them you always have a good reason and it is always YOUR decision, and your decision alone.
7. Neither you nor your partner feels the need to test the other's loyalties or feelings.
8. You are more yourself when with your partner than you are with anybody else.
9. If sex is part of your relationship it is by mutual desire and agreement without the slightest hint of commitment testing or persuasion.

The value of silence

Why are we embarrassed by silence? What comfort do we find in all the noise?"

The question got me thinking. Noise lets us ignore our most difficult struggle and our most precious possession: our true and profound self. Very often, it is painful to face one's true inner core. It is hard to be absolutely honest with oneself.

Shakespeare writes in Hamlet, "This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day," but we often fail in this regard.

We fool ourselves, and the noise and distractions of life help us in this effort. Constant external stimuli and occurrences allow us to avoid dealing with our inner being.

When we're alone in the car, do we immediately reach for the radio? Is it any wonder that talk radio is such a booming international business? We are so afraid of silence, so fearful of the opportunity to be with ourselves and penetrate our inner world.

Genuine spiritual heights can only be managed through introspection, which only comes by impression of the medium of silence.

Silence allows our spiritual dimension to regain control. Since the spiritual mode of man is silence, quiet allows the spiritual to lead the physical, while speaking gives the physical the leading role. The best thing for the body is when it is guided by the soul. Thus, there is nothing better for the body than silence.

Why is speech derived from the physical facet of man? How is silence the mode for the soul? Silence allows us to remove all of the external and physical distractions in our lives and lets us focus upon the essence of our being; the soul! How is silence good for the body? Why not say that silence is good for the soul or for a person in general?

Setting specific times to be alone with our thoughts and ourselves will help us probe our inner world. It is at these times that we pierce our deeper selves and grow in immense ways.

When you look into the mirror...

When you look into the mirror, guess what you see?
Tan, makeup or just plan old you?

You look into the mirror, does it lie?
No, it doesn't, even though you make it try.

You look into the mirror, what do you get?
Frowns, sadness discontent?
Happiness, gratitude or just plan old fret?
This is your reflection, and its what you'll get.

You are not stunning nor are you a not,
You are nothing to you, but to yourself a lot.

For you believe that beauty isn't skin deep,
For you searched for yours and landed in a heap.

You hate your nose, and the mirror doesn't lie,
You hate your legs, o god you could cry.

When you look in the mirror, what do you see?
Wrinkles, spots? Your beauty's free!

When you look in the mirror, IS skin deep, but you could not see,
For you are shallow, and forever you will be.

You look in the mirror, what do you see?
A beautiful person staring back at you?

For we all a beautiful, if not in face but deep down inside,
You have to be beautiful, but without losing your pride.

You look in the mirror, what do you see?
Both of us young, pretty and carefree.

For you are told you are beautiful, but you're shallow inside
You wear makeup, and you wont change your mind.

You are only 25 and already you fret,
That your looks will die, but you must never forget.

The beauty is skin deep, and we are all beautiful inside
So stand up straight and release your pride!